I am hurt!

When I left the office at Tuesday evening, it was still raining outside. Stepping out on the pavement I yank opened my aqua-blue umbrella which was hiding somewhere deep down in my hand bag. When you live in the city like Mumbai you can’t step out of your house without handy umbrella because you never know when the scorching sun will be shoved back by the grey clouds and when the harmful UV rays would be replaced by horrendous thunderstorm.

Nevertheless, after waiting for good twenty minutes and waving my hands frantically in the middle of the road for several times I finally managed to hail the cab at almost the double rent. By the time driver pulled the cab outside the Hard Rock Café I was 200 INR down. Bloody mugger! As I climbed out of the cab I saw Vikrant walking towards the café entrance.

“Oui!” I waved as he stopped and turned to face me. He was looking heart-stopping gorgeous in blue Levi’s and black shirt. How on earth he always managed to look this amazing. Gosh! I couldn’t remember when was the last time when I looked stunning, let alone effortlessly stunning. HA!

“Hey!” he gave me quick peck on the cheeks. Well, I didn’t think it was a quick peck because he lingered on my left cheek a bit longer. He smelt David Off. Together we ventured inside the café and housed on the table at the extreme right just few meters away from the live performance area.

“Sorry. I couldn’t come to pick you up!” he said.

“It’s all right. Nothing big. Trust me.” I waved my hand nonchalantly. “I am sure whatever occupied you must had been very important”.

“No. Not really.” Was it only I who think or did he really flinch? After ordering beer for himself and orange juice for me, he asked me about my day and I told him how humanly Natasha talked to me today much to my surprise.

“Enough about me. How was your day?” I asked as our order arrived.

“It was ok. It could be bad but somehow I managed to keep it ok” he flinched again. What was it? What was the problem with this drop-dead handsome hunk?

“Sorry. I didn’t really understand how it could bad! Is everything all right?” I asked gingerly.

“Yeah! It’s just my ex. She stopped by my flat today and we had this huge fight and she really did put me off. That was the reason I text you that I couldn’t come because she was there the whole day, fighting, arguing and strangely defending herself” he tutted and rest of his words fell faintly on my ears after the word ex, his ex. Crap!  

“ummm…”I squawked.

“Anyway, I was so looking forward to meet you. Meeting you always made me feel so relaxed” he smiled and I couldn’t know how to react. I was still trying to process what he just said about his ex.

“What exactly happened between you and….your ex?” I silently patted myself for being so brave to get the words out without stammering. What was wrong with me? Why was I feeling so sad?

“Oh! I didn’t realize you are still thinking about her. Well I usually don’t go in details about my past relations but since you ask…… Well she cheated on me with her best friend’s fiancé in my apartment, in my room when I was away in Thailand for an assignment” he said and I sat there, letting this information sink in.

Somehow I managed to gulp down my orange juice and before he could order the main course I had to pretend I was unwell and literally ran from the café without giving him chance to utter a single word. I couldn’t sit there and look at him!

Sitting in the cab I couldn’t help but let tears rolled out from my eyes. I mean I knew I was only on the second date with this guy whom I didn’t know until one month back  but just the thought that I was the bloody rebound thing for him sent the shiver down my spine. Off course even I was dating him just for the sake of my job and there was just nothing between me and him but I didn’t know why but I couldn’t believe that the entire time when we met or talked, he was just talking or meeting to me to take his mind off, I was simply nobody to him.

I can’t do this. I can’t meet or talk to him again no matter what. Tomorrow first thing in the morning, I will tell Natasha that I can’t do this blog thing. Damn! I don’t know why on earth I am feeling hurt when there was nothing serious between us. And why am I even crying? ‘For fuck sake stop being a weeper and get control of yourself’ I am yelling at me but it seems that my mind has choose not to listen to me and my heart has choose to keep going back to every detail of this awful evening again and again and again.

Signing off:
Girl in tears in the big city!!!