I am hurt!

When I left the office at Tuesday evening, it was still raining outside. Stepping out on the pavement I yank opened my aqua-blue umbrella which was hiding somewhere deep down in my hand bag. When you live in the city like Mumbai you can’t step out of your house without handy umbrella because you never know when the scorching sun will be shoved back by the grey clouds and when the harmful UV rays would be replaced by horrendous thunderstorm.

Nevertheless, after waiting for good twenty minutes and waving my hands frantically in the middle of the road for several times I finally managed to hail the cab at almost the double rent. By the time driver pulled the cab outside the Hard Rock Café I was 200 INR down. Bloody mugger! As I climbed out of the cab I saw Vikrant walking towards the café entrance.

“Oui!” I waved as he stopped and turned to face me. He was looking heart-stopping gorgeous in blue Levi’s and black shirt. How on earth he always managed to look this amazing. Gosh! I couldn’t remember when was the last time when I looked stunning, let alone effortlessly stunning. HA!

“Hey!” he gave me quick peck on the cheeks. Well, I didn’t think it was a quick peck because he lingered on my left cheek a bit longer. He smelt David Off. Together we ventured inside the café and housed on the table at the extreme right just few meters away from the live performance area.

“Sorry. I couldn’t come to pick you up!” he said.

“It’s all right. Nothing big. Trust me.” I waved my hand nonchalantly. “I am sure whatever occupied you must had been very important”.

“No. Not really.” Was it only I who think or did he really flinch? After ordering beer for himself and orange juice for me, he asked me about my day and I told him how humanly Natasha talked to me today much to my surprise.

“Enough about me. How was your day?” I asked as our order arrived.

“It was ok. It could be bad but somehow I managed to keep it ok” he flinched again. What was it? What was the problem with this drop-dead handsome hunk?

“Sorry. I didn’t really understand how it could bad! Is everything all right?” I asked gingerly.

“Yeah! It’s just my ex. She stopped by my flat today and we had this huge fight and she really did put me off. That was the reason I text you that I couldn’t come because she was there the whole day, fighting, arguing and strangely defending herself” he tutted and rest of his words fell faintly on my ears after the word ex, his ex. Crap!  

“ummm…”I squawked.

“Anyway, I was so looking forward to meet you. Meeting you always made me feel so relaxed” he smiled and I couldn’t know how to react. I was still trying to process what he just said about his ex.

“What exactly happened between you and….your ex?” I silently patted myself for being so brave to get the words out without stammering. What was wrong with me? Why was I feeling so sad?

“Oh! I didn’t realize you are still thinking about her. Well I usually don’t go in details about my past relations but since you ask…… Well she cheated on me with her best friend’s fiancé in my apartment, in my room when I was away in Thailand for an assignment” he said and I sat there, letting this information sink in.

Somehow I managed to gulp down my orange juice and before he could order the main course I had to pretend I was unwell and literally ran from the café without giving him chance to utter a single word. I couldn’t sit there and look at him!

Sitting in the cab I couldn’t help but let tears rolled out from my eyes. I mean I knew I was only on the second date with this guy whom I didn’t know until one month back  but just the thought that I was the bloody rebound thing for him sent the shiver down my spine. Off course even I was dating him just for the sake of my job and there was just nothing between me and him but I didn’t know why but I couldn’t believe that the entire time when we met or talked, he was just talking or meeting to me to take his mind off, I was simply nobody to him.

I can’t do this. I can’t meet or talk to him again no matter what. Tomorrow first thing in the morning, I will tell Natasha that I can’t do this blog thing. Damn! I don’t know why on earth I am feeling hurt when there was nothing serious between us. And why am I even crying? ‘For fuck sake stop being a weeper and get control of yourself’ I am yelling at me but it seems that my mind has choose not to listen to me and my heart has choose to keep going back to every detail of this awful evening again and again and again.

Signing off:
Girl in tears in the big city!!!

I am beyond happy!

I was right! I was just so damn right. After that good night sleep, next day I woke up around seven-ish which meant that I had two solid hours to write my first write up before I could go through my regular rituals of getting ready for the office.

As soon as I sprang out of the bed, i brew myself a pot of coffee, walked back to the room, opened the only french window in the apartment and sat by it with my laptop on the floor.  I re-ran the entire date in my mind and wrote about it in as much fancy manner as I could, though I tempted to add few raunchy details-which-didn’t-happen but the first rule of being a good writer is never write what never happened unless you are writing a fiction but here I was writing about my life, my romantic life, so I couldn’t lie. It was against the rule.

After successfully writing good enough write-up I managed to reach office just in time and now I am pretending to do the research work for “How to know that your man is cheating on you?” article for the next month’s issue on my computer while actually trying to find directions to Hard Rock Café. Earlier Vikrant was supposed to pick me up from the office but this morning when I was standing in front of Natasha while she was reading my write-up my phone vibrated in my hand and I managed to peep in my inbox only to found that Vikrant couldn’t come to pick me up and i have to reach there on my own. It was bit too upsetting as I was in no mood to roam around the city in this awful rain but I didn’t have any other option. Did I? Observing my gaze on my blackberry Natasha cleared her throat to bring my wandered mind back to her office.

“This is good” she said in a voice which was completely against her opinion.

“Thanks. I am glad you liked it.” I was beyond happy because as far as I could remember this was the first time when she actually said something good about my work. Though I know how much troubled she must had felt while getting those words out.

“Nevertheless, where is another one?” she looked straight in to my eyes.

“You said you need them by Wednesday morning which is tomorrow. The second one will be on your table, first thing in the morning.” I beamed.

“Ok. Go back to work.” She said.

What? Is that it? Is she alright? I mean she didn’t bark or humiliated me which is the part of her usual day. Is she in some kind of trouble? Is she in pain? Did she break-up with her hot-shot PR boyfriend? Whatever, I am glad that she didn’t spoil my day or my mood. Now for the rest of the day I didn’t have to see her face and I am beyond happy about this as well. Now I can go through the rest of the day, relaxing, twitting, facebooking and er….yes doing that research work as well before going out on the date. This day is fab.

 Signing Off:

Girl at ease in the big city!!!